aye im grounded got nothing better to do.

so ayee.
this is the way i let emotion out.
on a fucking stupid internet blog.
pfft, what a joke?


i feel physically sick with boredom.
im upset and feel awfi bad.


whilst my boyfriend and his "mates"
are out drinking ...and my friends too.
im stuck in the house bored to tears :(
does anyone care? nuut.


all i got was , " its yer own fault"
and tbh it is.
but i feel like SHITE!
my parents refuse to speak to me
and i have NOBODY to keep me company.


trying to get *someone* to come over.
but personally, im not getting my hopes up.
afterall, drinks above me in priorities :(
and tbh...id rather be drinking than with me .


but kehn it would be nice to be thought of.
im sitting here pure crying my eyes out.
and who actually cares?
ill tell yee.....NOONE!
its always my fault.
and usually....it is.
but it wid be nice to have some emotional support.


yeez always say yer there for me..
ayee when it stupid little things.
but when its a big thing like this....
i cant really count on anyone to be there for me.
i phone people. there phones are off.
or they say they'll call me back and dont.


its fucking great.
kehn whit fuck this.
im an inconvinence to everyone.
including my parents and friends.
just....whats the point :(


...

prelim results :)

i dont think i posted this.
all my studying paid off


biology KU-1 PS-1
chemistry KU-2 PS-2
history KU-1 ES-1
moddies KU-1 ES-1
french R-2 L-1 W-2 S-1 Overall = 1
art prelim-1 essay-1


why does everyone think im stupid ?!?!
LOOK!!! ^^
im like ...smart !!
:D


xox

fuck this shit !!! ARGH!

im grounded for a month
no phone either.
god damn £110.00 phone bill !


seriously you'd think i'd killed someone
there being total DICKS to me now.
they basically refuse to talk to me :(


ryan ? go hurry up and come on msn ?
i need you to come over.
since im not allowed out :(
i need someone to keep me sane.


xox

fuck yees all btw :)

rght lets get suhin straight here.
my relationship might not be aw


"i love you and want to be with you forever"


but its amazing. ok?
im sick of people making stupid
wee comments about how we always argue.
THATS JUST US !!!


if you know us ATAAL!!!
youd know we get on great.
ayee we might not be yer average couple


but weev lasted 6 month !
so it must be working >.>!0!!


SO MEEEH


xox

k!

relentless tour !?!- amaze!
except the guys not getting in :(
i cried.
msi were amazing.
dir en grey were hotties
and my foots all bruised
gid night ? AYEEE!
xox

bomb thiiisss traaaack !

gosh im sooo excited!
RELENTLESS TOMORROW!


taking the day off school.
ryan coming over ?
train in with the crew (h)
glasgooow!
banter


update tomorrow :)
xox

i love you and that's all I really know (8)

i got my relentless outfit :)
its rather sweeeeet .
i actually cant wait.


if i can get within
10 metres of oli sykes
my life will be complete :$:D
hes total OAFT!


got new school clothes
and a bag :)


im in a total good mood tnite
for a change ae ?
im sitting watching mean girls :)
coz im coool :)


im gonna go to bed i think :)(i)
xox

:)

well friday night was beastin !
apart from me and hannah
not getting invited!
but we made our own fun
chat logs seem so funny
when youre not crying.


yesterday? AMAZE!
went up toon with dean
"MRS SHORT GIT YER RAT OOT"
aww heehee
"we'll make them fight!"
got drink got pished got glowsticks


met lets see if i can remember :)
dionne jamie haddy ross alex matt
kevin ..err cant remember anyone else


fuds set a bench on fire
police chased them .
i laughed.
sobered up.


went to the bus stop
wilson ryan and simon
came back to mines :)
we watched scarymovie
i made pizza.
we laughed.
simon covered me in nutella !
and whipped me with a dishtowel >.>


drink + amaze people = ledge night XD!


xox

im a huffy shit.

im a moody bitch.
i annoy everyone.
upset people.
AND! myself.


i shouldnt be allowed friends
i just make them unhappy
with my moods.
fun times ae?


BIT! hannahs coming over
eeee !
since our burds are away 8-)
ah well ae...who needs them to have fun!


xox

ambitions?

• get straight credit grades in my standard grades
• pick 4 highers ( english math biology chemistry )
• somehow get through fifth year
• january 2010- apply for ineos apprenticeship
• if i dont get it - do sixth year ( advanced higher maths + chemistry)
• if i do - go to college - get HNC in process chemical engineering
• after the course - technician position at ineos grangemouth
• LEARN TO DRIVE !!
• get my own flat. move out

all by the time im say.....21 ?

sounds reasonable

after that ? kids ?

who knows maybe one. if im not crazy

(y)

argh..
im moody as fuck.
and keep randomly crying.
what the foook ae ha.


tday was gid.
had my last prelim.
went to ryan instead
of english and maths


went home.
felt reallly ill.
so i slept .
and now im trying to sleep again.


xox

down it goes :(

seriously who cares?
im upset.
who do i talk to?
you tell me to talk to you.
and i do try
i rely on you so much.
you've been with me through alot.
and i trust you with anything.
you are the one person
i can always count on.
our relationship might not
be "normal" or perfect.
but i love you. just the way you are.


i love how we fight like crazy.


i love how you let me win sometimes


i love how one moment im on the ground.
and the next yer kissing me.


i love how i can be myself round you


i love how im completly bitchwhipped
and do everything you ask


i love when yee stay over and i wake up forgetting your here
and the smile on my face when i do


i love how you always know when somethings wrong


i love the story of how we met.


i love the fact you took me back .


yeh.. i love you


xox

more good news :D

passed my personal study.

yey !

i like passing things (:

makes me feel smart

butt yeees ...

today i was moody

i made people laugh.

i did my art prelim :)

wanna see it !!

but im moody and annoying (:

but apparently !!

im a laugh

so allls goood

xox

anyone wanna hear a story (:

right ...this is true
but alot of yous dont know it..
it may answer a question
i got asked today


before this *girl* is on bus
a *boy* from her school is on.
*girl* recognises *boy*
before her stop *girl*
hits her head off bus roof
later that day ...she meets *boy* again
when hes with his friends.


*girl* has a fling with one of the *boy* friends
until he goes on holiday
and then......


right so one day ..lets say *girl*
goes out with her friend.
they go uptown and decide to drink.
tut tut ae?
they get the older *boy* to get it.
then as they waited ..
undercover cops asked them about it.
so *girl* gets *boy*s number
off her friend to warn him.


*girl* phones *boy* agrees to meet
with friends up the spot.
*girl* has 70cl bottle of vodka
and gets rather drunk.
*girl* friend also gets very
drunk and passes out on the ground.


*boy* although he has never met *girl*
before ..looks after her.
take her to pee. buys her water.
holds her hair back whilst shes being sick.
and just generally helps.


*girl* had to go home to her
mums wedding rehersal.
on the way home *girl* had sobered
up and then she text *boy*
to say thanks.
*girl* and *boy* got talking by text.


the next day *boy* friend was home and
*girl* and him had an argument
*girl* went to *boy* for help
and *girl and boy* tried to make him jealous


later that week *girl* and *boy* met up :)
had some fun .
then it was *girl* mums wedding.
*girl* and her friends phone *boy*
and annoy him to ask *girl* out
but *boy* said no coz he was going on holiday.


whilst *girl* parents were on holiday
she had a party and *boy* came.
they had even more fun and total hit it off.
then when *boy* went on holiday for 3 weeks :(
and *girl* made a silly mistake ( one of many )


*girl* told *boy* and they fell out.
the next day after thinking it was over
*boy* text *girl* saying sorry :)
and all was fine again XD


then ...it was a week before *boy* came home
*girl* got grounded for smoking.
*boy* found out and text her asking
if *girl* would go out with him,
and that he was gonna ask her that saturday
but she was grounded.
*girl* didnt have any texts left so she had to phone
her friend to get her to text *boy* back saying YES!


that saturday*girl * got ungrounded early
went uptown again
and met *boy* :D


22/08/08 <3

yey !

got some of my prelim results back (:


biology - KU - 1 PS- 1
history- KU- 1 ES - 1


yey for my smartness :)
straight ones sheeeeen
still to get my moddies
and chemistry...
chemistry was kinda hard likes
think i might have got a 3 :/


art prelim tomorrow
french on friday (:
two easy ones likee (:


so ayee today ...
matthew was being a dick
ryan set him straight :)
yey !
xox

super weekend :)

basically...
ryan stayed
friday + saturday
went uptooon
we had to babysit sat.night
matthew went to bed
watched scary movie + 1408
and beverly hill cop :)

was well giid
i pure love the boy
even if he does want to keep
me locked in a cupboard +
throw oranges at me through a hole

xox

update.

im stressed.
im scared.
im ill.
im kinda upset.
and most of all
im confused to fuck !

bleurghhh :(

aha i loooove cruel intentions !

Get your ass on the bed and prepare for the fuck of your life.

After what you put me through I deserve it.

.

but yesss....im ill :)

i threw up alot.

it was icky :(

.

ive had a hard week.

too many exams

chemistry tomorrow :(

im scared!

.

ryans staying tomorrow :)

should be good :)

.

im away to throw up sum more :)

byee :)

xox

RANT !!

okay ...people worry me these days.
oh and yes ...ryan i finally!!
understand what you meant the other night !!
.
ok fairdooos !!??!! you can love a person
right fair enuff !
but i think people have to remember we are only like
15 / 16 ?
.
i know its pure nice to think that you could
spend the rest of yer life with the person yer with now..
and it has happened obviously...
but i think these days people are being really unrealistic,
if it does happen HOORAAH!!!
if it doesnt ? which is very likely ...
move on ae? weer still young
.
its just not right to be total spending every
waking moment of yer life with or wanting to be with
one person.....thats how yee end up losing them !!
they neeed spaaaace :)
xox
RANT OVER!

It's times like these you learn to live again (8)

im stressed , exausted and slightly depressed tbh

bleurghhh...

exams are total making me feel like shite tbh !

.

had biology today...never studied.

found it easy lol.

history tomorrow...i really need to study .

but i just dont have the energy.

i havent slept properly in days :(

.

after our "minor" fallout..

me and ryan seem to be getting on alot better

the understanding seems to be there now.

if only i could stop being a moody bitch ae :^)

.

bleurghh...i seriously feel like shite.

its like...appallingly bad !!

im listning to ...

fuck noes but its cheery :)

.

school seems to be dragging me down lately

i need a good night in/out with someone.

in : watch way too many movies eat way too muc

out: get crunk baaabe !

.

but ayee...i seem to be total down in the duuumps

especially this week and it only TUESDAY !!!

only...*counts* 3 more days ....
and ....2 more exams ....this week anyways :(

.

post title ? ironic i know :)

ah well gonna go study hitler ae 8-)

catchhhh homeslice !

xox

It's overrated, just get another drink and watch me come undone(8)

got nothing to sayy tbh
schoools stressful ...sick of exams tbh

lifes average...nothing changed really

.

so ayee ...

this was very pointless....i suhin happens ill post

but i doubt it tbh

xox

we can live like jack and sally if we want (8)

aha i love blink 182 <3
been a total ghiiid weekend tbh

.

statements

.

babee i pure love you ok ?

never leave me ? or ill cry

im total glad weev sorted stuff out

tbh things are much better already (: <3

.

aww yer lovelee (:

not know you that long but had so much banter

i think its great our burds are like paals

gives us more banter ae (:

lu my material girl lol (:

.

but ayeee biology chemistry and history exams this week

godsaaakes ae lol

xox

aha score (: ive figured it out

oh my goshh

todays was ok.

with the exception of my parents

imminent divorce.

had my moddies exam

was quite easy.

went "home" at lunch

coz i was feeling "sick"

not coz i was stressed ae lol

.

i really went to ryans

had some fun

then went home

and what a coincidence !

i was sick.

.

but ayee i finally have

some solid carreer aspects

.

im taking

higher chemistry

higher biology

higher english

higher maths

and maybe higher human biology

in fifth year

.

then ..i duno if ill do sixth

but if i do

advanced higher maths

+

advanced higher chemistry

+

advanced higher biology

.

then im apply for a modern

apprenticeship with Ineos grangemouth

to become a process chemical engineer

aha ayyeee ...

its that easy :)

xox

reply x

logical reason "/well ...here it goes my reasoning was it was either that or hurt you more....i just knew i wasnt just gonna get away from him easily...ill be honest ..i didnt expect it to go that far...and i soooo wish it hadnt.but the logical reason that sticks in my head was i had to prove how much of a dick he was or i was never gonna convince myself...and then i would end up thinking he was a decent guy ( which he isnt ) it honestly wasnt anything to do with you ..i loved you to bits .. and i still do ...if not even more now...it made me realise that he was a dick and that he wasnt worth any of the bother he had caused before.it also made me realise that i truely love you and wouldnt ever do that to anyone again.you're the only one who can make me smile the way i do when im with you. you make even the shittest day seem like nothings ever wrong.you are the one i truely love.and im so sorry

.ilu xox ):

thats the problem...

sorry about that one
im stressed
got prelims...
having some problems etc..
ive got like hardly anyone to talk to
it like no-one cares ..
probably right ae ):
im going insane
x

uber bad mood

since im in a bad moood

lets see what i hate/dislike

.

• the person who blackmailed me then told anyways
• the person who caused all this bother and lied about it
• stupid wee girls who think their fucking gorgeous!
• ever more stupid fat ned girls who talk about their 19 year old boyfriends who live in another part of the country...have they even seen you?
• mornings unless ive had at least 3 cups of black coffee
• sugar puffs , frosties , cheerios and other sugary cereals !!
• seafood - its an allergy not a dislike!!
• the rain that blows in the wind and total soaks you
• waiting on my schoool bus with annoying people
• having a lighter and no fags
• having fags and no lighter !
• any form of tonic wine : including buckfast eww
• vodka and irn-bru
• normal irnbru and cola
• the fact i say yogert instead of yogurt
• people who say their fat and are skinnier than me !! it like am i obese!?!
• minimosh....nuff said...
• the staff in fooot locker in Glasgow who go on cake breaks
• getting lost
• the fact i cheated on the only person ive loved ...
• the fact i hate myself and am not gonna forgive myself.....ever...

xox

oh deaaar

first day back at school?

shite ae...

.

but ayeee statement time :)

1. i got you back..we were really close for a while

now it back to the way it used to be...

we never talk...and i feel as if we are drifting apart

i want this to work so badly ):

2. thanks for everything..you got me through the breakup

and the make up...you give awesome advice

and i hope things work out...you deserve it :)

as you said one of the lads ;)

3. your still the closest i have to a best friend

he complains at me that im friends with you

but kehn...he cant really tell me who to be friends with

i wouldnt be here if it wasnt for you :) x

im officially on a diet.

well a fake diet.

my parents called me fat

and said i had a fat ass:(

so im gonna scare them by not eating lol

but im gonna eat at school obv !

xox

remember me tonight when you're asleep :)<3

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting

It could it be that we have been this way before?

I know you don't think that I am trying

I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night

That I will fall for you over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended

I always swore to you I'd never fall apart

You always thought that I was stronger

I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start

Ohh, but hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night

That I will fall for you over again

Don't make me change my mind

.

.

its 2009 and im ready to make it the best year yet.

for the first time ever ive started the year with a boyfriend.

and tbh i have no intent on losing him now lol

i had to work hard for him and no blooody way im losing him !

.

.

im gonnna make a wee bit of a change i think.

not anything too drastic likes.

just gonna cut down a wee bit on the fags and drink.

try and get some PROPER friends like BEST friends

and get closer to the ones ive got kehhhhn :)

.

.

im actually total looking forward to this year.

im determined to make it better the 2008

and no more mistakes ....

xox

2009 ? nothings changed 8-)

And if I open my heart to you,

I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,

And if you help me to start again,

You know that I'll be there for you in the end

music +lyrics awesome movie

.

but ayee...

2009 ?- ok so far..

studied for my prelims yesterday

.

toon today ?

half bottle+lucozade= braaaw

didnt get drunk...

had an amazing fire..

total cosy as anything..

all we needed was marshmallows

.

but ayee...

i got told tonight that me + the burd

are perfect for each other?

i thought about it a wee bit and maybe we are.

afterall how have we went from 22/8/08

till now ...only having about 2 weeks apart

that must meean suhin ae?

.

see tbh words cant express how much i love him

he makes my day everytime im with him.

fairdoos...i mucked him about BIGTIME!

but he forgave me and took me back

so now fucking way am i losing him again

i wouldnt be myself without him

lu!

xox

lets make 2009 count aee :)?

so its finally new year.

i want to make this year decent.

.

hopefully see another new year with the burd

total love the boy.

stayed with him last night was ghiiid (:

except i apparantly sleep sitting up lol.

.

so ayee new years resolutions? a few tbh..:)

.

1. quit smoking

2. keep ryan

3.pass my exams

.

so ayee :)

happy new year

xox