Sunday, 28 December 2008

mega blog..?

december 25th 2008 : Xmaaaas day !

woke up aroundd....7ish with my brother
opened presents XD
got ...

iphone
new laptop
clothes
guitar hero world tour !
virgin mobile broadband XD!
money
perfume
dvd's
etc....

family came over..ate too much
drank WAAAAAAAAAAAY! too much
then ryan came over ..
OMG!! the boys so fucking sweet !
he asked me back out...on xmas day !
god i fucking love him so muchh ..
no mucking up this time i promise.
ate and drank more.
watched die hard ? lol

december 26th 2008: boxing day !

didnt do much lol never got up till 1...
cracked guitar hero world tour out its box
im a whizz on guitar...
drums? getting there lol
then later...went to ryans
he played xbox
i stole his internet and went online with my phone lol

december 27th 2008 : tooonagee!

went up town shopping with nioma
she had to go home at like half 1 to babysit.
then i met dean becca scullion and zander...
went to camerons...
i got my belly button pierced...
not that sore..
ive been nipped sorer
took dean in with me to get it done..
he was ghidd emotional support
.
" you can get up if yer feeling ok.."
" I DONO HOW I FEEL! "
.
aha ghiiid times...
went to the square .
had some banter ..
went shopping again this time with ami
she bought total lovely shoes !!! :O
went back to square ..
ryan finished work
went to his house
and same as night before lol
.
catchhhh!
xox

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

christmaaaaas eve XD

so ayee its christmas eve :)
and im excited kinda...
or a bit drunk...
or both ! XD
.
so ayee
merry xmas !!!
no blog tomorrow unless the day get shite lol
catch and have a good day
xox

Monday, 22 December 2008

2008 - tbh the best year yet (:

god ive been thinking...
about how the last few weeks have been so shit
..
BUT! tbh apart from the week beginning 7th of december
this years been awesome.
..
thanks to dean, ive met the greatest folk ever
fairdooos toon kinda made me a bit
mental tbh lol
but ! i like drinking and tbh smoking isnt all that bad.
.
ive had some really shit relationships
then thanks to me being a total lightweight
i met the most amazing guy ever.
we went out..i mucked up
but kehn im still hoping we can sort it out.
the whole cheating thing has made me learn alot...
.
school ? still the same ...
im still smart-ish..
.
ive also realised...alcohol is total ghiid!
drinking a litre bottle of vodka will make you pass out
vodka and lucozade makes yee whitey but tastes giiiid
.
so ayee 3 days till xmas !!
i actually cant wait XD
xox

Sunday, 21 December 2008

4 days (:

eek !
4 daays !
i actually cant wait now XD
.
oh i had another strange encounter with a lady yesterday
i was reading a condom leaflet and she told me
she was gonna take me outside and end me
just coz shes jealous i can afford protection
her and her 8 kids ;)
me and shannon complained lol!
.
conner made me go to costa and get him a latte with 6 sugars !
then complained when he got a sore belly !!
lol.. so ayee got a bottle of smirnoff ice ..
was ghiid
didnt get drunk ...just happy tipsy (:
.
went back to ryans watched dawn of the dead
well like 30 minutes of it...
...
so i never got up till 1'o'clock today
and now im tidying my room
i had to clean my floor wasnt fun :^)
now! ive got to change my bed covers
and take 2 week old rice downstairs eww...
im lovely likes.
..
later? gonna revise for my prelims again.
ask ryan if he wants to come over maybe (:?
sooo catch baaabe
xox

Saturday, 20 December 2008

aha awesome daayyy XD

so yehh ...today was well ghiiid.
went uptown with ryan and simon (:.
fairdooos it was raining and windy as fuck !
when we were in the bank we concluded you cant take me anywhere
coz i made a puddle on the floor wth my umbrolly
.
so ayee went to tescos to try and get a taxi tot he train station
ryan won one of the corsa c'moon guys first try !
gave up with the taxi.
walked to the train station.
i cried it was so cold and windy and rainy :(
.
but ayee got to the station
had to use the fucking machine to get tickets
gave change out in 5p's from a £20
* we regretted this later !*
got on the train (:
again we decided you can take me anywhere
as on the train i shouted
" stop rubbing me with the umbrella yer making me wet !"
lol!
went to glasgow.
.
zavvi is amazing !
and we got lost after going the wrong way :L
foot locker for like 2 hours!
went to PASTA HUT!!
yes we really did find one that has changed!
but it was toooo busy so we ended up at mcdonalds
which has to be the biggest walk from the counter to the door!
.
right then we went back to the train station !
tried to get through the ticket barrier
until the woman told me our tickets wernt valid till after half 6 !
STUPID MACHINE!!!
.
so i went absoultly skitz at the man
he was just plain rude !
ended up having to pay and extra £1.40 each !
fucking prick like seriously !
"if yer gonna swear you cna just wait till half 6 !"
my fucking arse mate !
.
so ayee train home
went to get on the bus
this drunk woman licked me !!!!
it horrified me greatly !
.
went back to simons
hannah and chloe came round
i cried coz i got hit alot !!
then i went home
and slept like a log XD
xox

Thursday, 18 December 2008

schools over (:

heeeeeeeeeeeey ! <3
guesss whiiit !?!
no more schooooooool !!!
SCOOOORE !
.
im apparently coool.
coz i have manly taste in movies
such as green street and football factory !
hell yeaaah !
.
so ayee school today....for 2 periods ahaaa
me and dean
"dirty fucking jakey alkie amoking scene kid bastard !"
lol (:
.
got the bus to ryans at like 11 .
better than being at school lol
.
went home slept .
ate 6 boxes of micro chips ..
*theyreee wellll gid !*
its like awesome!
.
now im on msheeeen !
and gonna do some studying ae :/
.
tomorrow should be giiiid.
not going to school AGAIN!
glasgow with ryan...and simon hopefully (:
should be a laugh and a half (:
..
catch (:
xox

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

i could have been someone..well so could anyone ! (8)

8 days !
merry christmass baabes !
.
seee tbh it doesnt feel like christmas :/
kinda sooooks .
but aye i cant wait!
.
its like the perfect day...
presents foood family and lots of alcohol.
plus ! i think ryans coming over XD
god i love that boy suhin awful
even if weer not going out ..yet...
.
he says im apparently gonna find suhin out on the 25th :O
im actuallly total paranoid !
i wannnnnaaaa know now !
.
so ayee got all my past paper books today ..
15 !
i made conor carry them coz hes lovely (:
i got my hair done !
its rather braww tbh (:
.
im gonna have to start studying soon :/
kinda sucks ..
gonna ruin my holidays coz im gonna be worried ...
about exams and prelims and shizz.
im gonna try not to let it ruin it tho !
try and enjoy myself ae .
.
tbh this has been an awesome year .
i finally feel comfortable being myself.
and ive met some pure amazing people.
ive realised some people are dicks! [ a bit too late tho ]
and ive realised yee never know what yeev got till its gone
.
ive changed alot...
i drink + i smoke
who cares tho ae?
im still exactly the same person insidee
and im still doing well at schooolypops
so kehn no worries baaabes
.
so ayeee study time !
what first i wonder.......
modern studies i suppose :/
byee
xox

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

You and me always, and forever (8)

welll it was raining
and dark and cold !
but guess what !?! i bought a new umbrolly
so im sorted :D!!
.
got to the bus stop..
bus..me and dean finished the song !
.
im not gonna write it alll
just the verses :L
.
who looks slightly asian and cant get it up...
whos shit in bed and looks like a mutt...
who cheated on ... now cant get a burd..
now smack and gham are gonna kick him to fuck ..
.
aww dean i love yehh =]
.
got to schoool
usuall classes...
didnt do much since its the last weeeek (:
.
cant wait till friday (:
glasgow shopping woooo!
i love trains ! seriously theyre awesome !
.
christmas in like 9 days !!!
yey !!!!!!!
..
im toootalll hyper !!
so i gonna go on the treadmill :L
xox

Monday, 15 December 2008

all i want for christmas is you :((8)

so october
read please.
.
see that ! ever single bit of that is still 110% true
if not even more.
.
so im gonna beg over the internet.
basically make a fool of myself again.
.
take me back :(
please :(
ill do the last few things on the list...hopefully
*see last post*
even if i dont manage to
please....im begging you take me back
im crying writing this...
i love you...so much .
i know i hurt you
i know i embarassed you
but you dont know how much not being able to say
"oh my boyfriend..etc.."
it like " oh...my...err...friend"
it kills me...
the other night when you said
"im goi-..used to go out with one"
thats when i realised this isnt over yet :(
im not saying forgive me yet.
im not saying fully trust me yet.
im saying please take me back :(
everyday since last monday has been the worst days of my life
coz ive not had you to make them better :(
....
so yeh :(
please...just think about it
im willing to do the list.
i just dont know if i can convince my fucking mind to let me.
xox

help ?

im in a predicament.
so i need YOUR! help ?
.
right..
i mucked up..as you know..my relationship.
ryan was and still is the one person ive ever loved.
i know it sounds crazy since im like 15....but its true.
.
i want him back so badly it hurts.
i know what i have to do to get him back,
but ! the problem come to doing it...
is it worth embarassing myself :(
my hearts saying yes !
but as per usually i have my sensible head on which says no :(
.
when weer together...
its like weer still going out...
we still do exactly the same stufff ..
but i know weer not going out..
so its not the same,
and tbh it kills me....
.
so the question comes...
should i embarass myself + get the one person i love back .
OR!
just say no + just be friends
.
tbh seeing it like that...
i dont have a choice ....
which is the shite part...
.
i hate not having options.
fuck this im away to have another wee cry ..
xox

Saturday, 13 December 2008

wooo things have got betttteer

DESPITE ! the fact this week has been SHITE!
it getting better babes !
much better.
me nd ryan are talking again...
well..more than talking but kehnnn!
shh.
.
toon today. was cold and rainy.
but me and ami's treck made it hilarious.!
some unny quotes ? why not !
.
"weeeer gonna get stabbed !" me once i found out where we were going
.
"shit im stuck !" i got stuck in between 2 lamposts with my brolly.
.
"last time i was walking down here...i was oot my tits...
and kept taking 2 steps forward and one step back" * ami demonstrates*
.
"SHIT! ive dropped my fucking fags !"
AMI LOSES HER FAGS !
AND MAKES US WALK BACK ! THEN I FOUND THEM XD!
.
aww zander made me giggle.
"are you going chappy"
"bye chappy!"
"fuck off chappy! seriously"
.
lol (:
good times babeees !
xox

Thursday, 11 December 2008

it's been like this now for days...(8)

if it hurts this much,
then it must be love,
and its a lottery,
i can't wait to draw your name.
oh i'm trying to get to you,
but time isn't on my side,
the truths the worst i could do,
and i guess that i have lied.
.
keeping me awake,
it's been like this now for days,
my heart is out at sea,
my head all over the place,
i'm loosing sence of time,
and everything tastes the same,
i'll be home in a day,
i fear thats a month to late.
.
that night i slept,
on your side of the bed so,
it was ready when you got home,
we're like noughts and crosses in that
opposites always attract.
.
-youmeatsix, alwaysattract
...
so ayee today sooked.
whats new ae? :/
fuck alll !
.
biology - sooked
history- ok...banters giiid
break- shite
art- skive
french- BIGGER skive
lunch - shite
english-shite
maths- OOOFT! shite.!!
.
came home.
had dinner
now im in bed.
fuck sakes.
sooooooooks atm !
.
and i think im scared.
just in general .
scared.
life scares me lol !!
seriouslly !
.
tomorrow?
just another day ae?
this weeks nearly over !
lets hope nexts better.
lets just say...
it couldnt be anyworse than this...
ive lost everything......
...
..
.
xox

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

But if I never take this leap of faith I'll never know (8)

someone give me him back :( please....
.
this week has changed me.
sooooo much.
im like emotionally scared :(
.
right public broadcast of feelings?
shows you how much i care :( x
.
i want you back.
so badly it makes me cry.
im sorry.
im sorry for lying.
im sorry for keeping it a secret.
im sorry for making you seem like a bad person.
im sorry i hurt you.
im sorry i went anywhere near him .
and most of all ..
im sorry ive made you distrust me :(
i deserve all the shit you've given me.
i am a slapper
i am a slag.
but im determined to change for the better
ive quit smoking for you.
ive did everything :(
i just hope you realise how sorry i am .
.
ive cried at least once everyday after and including sunday night.
i hate myself for what ive done to you.
i said
"im not as bad as her"
but guess what i am :(
i might even be worse ..
but least im trying to fix it...im trying sooo fooking hard
.
please. take me back.
give me a chance to prove im diferent now
....
please :(
xox

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

I'll never be the same without you (8) ):

fuck sake.
worst week ever mate :(
its only tuesday!
.
got dumped
lost all my friends
broke my fingers :(
.
holy shit.
now SHES! got involved !
how fucking awesome ae:(
kill me now ?
.
ive quit smoking btw..
3 days without a fag.
not easy.
but its what has to be done.
:(
im quite upset.
.
its not going well for me:(
bye
xox

Monday, 8 December 2008

I didn't really mean to hurt you I didn't wanna see you go I know I made you cry, but baby if i could turn back time.

its official
everyone hates me !
me and ryan have broke up.
he found out i cheated.
im a slapper.
and a slag.
.
it hurt alot :(
ive cried all day.
even to my mummy ,
who then sided with him..she likes him more than me...
im a hussy according to my parents.
.
crying hurts...
after like 6 hours.
its not fun to have the people
you thought were youre friends
call you names, and give you dirty looks
.
and note if yer reading this alex,
youre a fucking shit stirring bastard and i hope you rot in hell !
matthew, youre more trouble than what it was worth
dont fucking come anywhere near me.
.
so ayee....eventful day
catch :(
xox

Sunday, 7 December 2008

watch me come undone !

eeek !
its neeeerly christmas :)
i love christmas ..
its like awesome
.
so..i started my christmas shopping atlast !
not alot still to get (:
scooore ..
and i saw my christmas outfit today .
awfi brawww XD
.
after christmas?
NEW YEAR !!
the biggest excuse to get drunk in the whole world (:
and personally...
i used to hate it...
becuase obviously being young...i wasnt allowed to drink
but now i am...
its fooking awesome !
.
this years been ...probably the best year of my life so far.
fairdoos its had its bad/sad moments.
but the gidd/happy ones overshadow those !
  • ive had some bad relationships...which went nowhere
  • im now in the best one ive ever had ..which is awesome !
  • ive lost some good friends due to the act ive changed alot
  • ive made some amazing pals...who are basically mental (:
  • ive changed alot ...its bad in some respects
  • ive changed alot..its awesome..im more confident...and i like alcohol lol

so ayee this years beeen ghiddd :)

lets hope next years just as good !

xox

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Such a saint, but such a whore. So self-aware, so full of shit (8)

godddsaaake.
its waay to cold outside
i left the house at ...8.05am
and it was fookin minus 5 !
.
my toes went numb lol!
ghiid times .
snows still there...
well it more ice now...
but just everywhere.
i slipped coming out the house 8-)
.
so ayee school...shite
haha whats new ae?
.
came home...tidyied up
watched csi:miami :L
coz im hardcore
.
went on msn (:
organised to go shopping either tomorrow afterschool
or friday if the weathers bad :L
to get amber something
happpy birthday for friday (^):)!
.
eeeeek !! 3 weeks tomorrow till xmas !
scooooore !
.i like christmas
but i hate new year :L!
its depressing lol
.
so ayeeee ..im away ...
homework is like piling up lol
xox

Monday, 1 December 2008

more UPDATED statements

1. i love you so much, yet i dont see why you're with me
i dont deserve you and it obvious to me now
im sorry for the shit ive put you through :(
.
2. i shouldnt like you at all ..but i do (: yer a nice person
no matter what anyone else says
except ...you cause alot of trouble when im with you :/
.
3. im glad weev finally sorted our shit out (:
your 4 hour long chats are funny
and the tequila was a great addition (:
.
4. i love you in a friendly way (: yer like my best friend boyo
never change coz then id have to cry
even if yeee are a total jakebawww <3
.
5. you's two are the nicest girls ive ever met !
ive only known you's for about 5 months
but yeez are total goood friends ilys! <333
xox

im not scared of dying, i just dont want to (8)

god ..i love robbie williams (:
.
but ayee...
today was two words...
FUCKING SHITE !
.
right..before school...i had no fags !
so no morning fag...made me grumpy
.
got to school...it was cold frosty and
people were talking about the weekend
felt like shit...
.
psd maths boring as fuck
break - meh !
.
r.e - had to leave at the start of the period to go to the nurse
knock back 2 ibuprofen and sit with a ROASTING!
hot water bottle on my belly....was the best part of the day
gave me some alone time
let me think about stuff.
.
history shite!
lunch...fucking bollocks!
chemistry moddies MEHH!!
.
bus home...kinda funny
walk home with alex and matthew
always makes my night (:
gives me some banter :)
(so thanks for tht guys XD)
.
god ...
now ! im sitting watching robbie williams live at knebworth.
then i think i may go for a boiling hot shower
with my ipod dock turned up full blast.
then ...french homework...
msn-ageee
then bed coz i feel like shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
my lifes quite shite occassionally (:
xox

Sunday, 30 November 2008

at last ! :D

yesterdayy was welll goood
with the exception of one thing
hope yer ok babe :( xx
.
but ayeee
met alex matthew kay and aileen
went to alex and matts
watched the incredibles under duvet covers
it was cold
.
drank LOADS of beer
.
then other people came...
alex got knocked out a few times
i got dropped on my head
the lock on the toilet door was broke so
folk walked in on yee peeing ! >.>
.
then...ema came..
i was kinda like shit !..
coz its kinda common knowledge me and her hated each other
due to...events..
but ayee...
she came over and started talking to me...
we sorted everything out (:
.
went out for a fag with her ...
ended up having 3 and talking...
went into the conservatory coz it was fucking FREEEEZING!
talked some more...
.
went into the bedroom..
talked for like another hour ..
people were like ORDER FOOOOD !!
.
then i went into the room with matthew to talk
and he told me a story about the time thomas got
jumped by neds at the shop.
ema came back through...we all talked...
then i went back through to let ema and matt talk
.
yeh alot of talking was done (:
and tequila is GIIID!!! :O:D
with cola tho lol
.
so ayeee overall
night was giiiid :D
xox

Thursday, 27 November 2008

I'm just the girl next door :)

aha my blog titles are random
but this ones true..
i an truely the girl next door type lol
.
im actually all happy lately
i dono why 8-)
.
its quite awesome XD
.
but ayee anyhoo
nothing exciting happened todayy
soo...
im not gonna write anything (:
sorted !
xox

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

I'll keep you my dirty little secret, Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret(8)

ahaa today was quite giiiid
teacake fights and lube...nufff said !!
.
but ayyeee im gonna do more statements....was fun (:
.
1. i still love you more than anything,
even if we are kinda driting apart again:(
we can make this work <33
.
2.i used to think you were quite...a dick tbh.
ive realised yer actually a total lovely guy to me,
sorry for all the shit in the past.
.
3. weeev been through alot together ( too much tbh :O)
sorry i cant tell you my big secret lol
its bigger than pregnacy and AIDS put together !
.
4.you make me laugh sometimes..
except you did call me a slag in chemistry !
.
5. yer my bestest pal!
never leave?
i'd miss you and yer soulja' boy dance lol
...
but ayee!
this weekend should be goood (:
cant wait actually.
friday usual night in with ryan most likley ?
saturday afternoon - busy
saturday night - partyy (:
im still! not drinking btw !
been about a month now :D!
well chuffed XD
.
catch
xox

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

I think you're kinda cute when you try and act like you ain't lookin' (8)

lifes giiiid atm
schools going great
relationships great
friends great (:
.
ahaa...im a wee happy girl tonight
for reasons unknown to everyone lol
.
despite my breakdown today...
yeh ..i freaked out ...felt ill
and started crying for no reason basicalyy :s
ehh...why does this happen like every 2 weeks now?!?!
am i going insane ?!?!
.
ahaaa well....if iam shit happpens ae:)
mehh...im tired
catch (:
(ooo red today (:)
xox

Monday, 24 November 2008

reaching for something in the distance so close you can almost taste it(8)

hmmm....
tonight worried me.
i actually sat and thought about what i wanted to do when i left school
.
soo....me being the strange person i am...
started googling universities...
dono what university....stirling dundee or aberdeen...
but i know what course now
undergraduate history degree and undergraduate education .
ayee thts right i wanna be a history teacher(:
or maybe maths....hmmmm?ARGHHH!
.
arghhh...lifes scary ae?
seems like yesterday i was terrified of high school...
now ive only got like 2 years to go ...
oh dear....
think its time i get stuff sorted ae?!
.
schools going quite well...
i need at least 4 highers at B's :
.
aww fuck..this is worrying me
i actually want to do well in life kehn...
but i dono if i have the ability lol
awkhh well...
lifes a bitch...then yee die ae?
catch
xox

Saturday, 22 November 2008

statements

im in a blogging mood now
this looks fun...
.
.
1. i actually adore you. never leave?
.
2. i cant stand you ...yet i still seek your attention
.
3. your the closest to a best friend i have...
our msn conversations are the highlight of my night
.
4. you are one of the the worst people i have ever met
grow up 'ae ? the pasts the past
.
5. you bug me suhin awfi...yet you make me laugh.
.
6. our form banter makes school bareable and
yer one of my best friends (:
.
7. you are the person i owe alot to..introducing me to uptown
ive met alot of gid folk thanks to you (:
.
8. i loved you in a friendly way...except you mucked it up
so ...stay away please ?
.
9. you literally are my mortal enemy.
yer a slag and everyone knows it...plus yer a smelly wee troll
.
10. your one of the nicest girls ive ever met. youve been through alot.
i hope things are getting better (:
.
try and guess (:
oxo

imaaa bitch !

ahaa
just a quick note
...
6 months ago
i was innocent, i was smart, i was sensible,
i was nice to everyone + i had PROPER friends
...
right now...
im anything BUT innocent, my grades are slipping, i smoke and drink
im a bitch to everyone + i dont know who my PROPER friends are (:
..
yet
im stilll happy :D
i suppose thts the main thing ae
i seriously dont care what you think
(:
xox

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Pull my strings just for a thrill (8)

todayyy...sucked
first day back at school
classes = dragged on
im total in love with red jumpsuit apparatus atm
and 30 seconds to mars
..
i go through weird music episodes
last week it was coldplay and oasis
the week before it was bringmethehorizon
im a strange girl lol (:
..
but ayeee....
im awfull pissed off
i have wayyy to much homework
which includes an essay.
..
4th year sucks
take me back to primary ?
lifes tooo hard these days
it too awkward to fit everything in
= school, friends + relationships
....
im gonna have to concentrate on number 1
the rest...can wait tbh :/
well...im not saying im gonna dingy everyone...
..just...
cut down ? on the amount im going out ?
..
meh too much to do
byee
xox

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

boreeed mate

i like being off school
but im bored
....
...
and i have nothing exciting to write
xox

Sunday, 16 November 2008

mega post !!!

fuck friday ....
saturday = best night ever !
my beedayyy party
.
excessive amounts of alcohol were drank
south park is amaze drunk
"OBAMAAAAA !!!"
" im not your buddy guy !!"
ahaaa immense.
wee chris and wilson played gay chicken !
"OMG HE HAD HIS TONGUE IN MY MOUTH !"
.
so ...
there was....
me
nioma
conor
leigh
shiviee
amber
shona
hannah
simon
chris
ryan
wee chris
wilson
.
ayeee....so we got drunk.
my parents went out for dinner
.
then they came home.
thts when everything got amazing believe it or not!
firstly!
me my mum and nioma on the trampoline drunk
" do youz pee a little wen yeez jump?
"no mum....."
LMFAO !!!
.
then my dad....who was half gassed !
decided to make use of the leftover fireworks from bonfire night !
BAD IDEAAA!
the rockets almost hit the shed..
then we got the box/cylinder things out...
they fell over coz of the wind...
and started hitting the house and the gas box
and us !!
.
then they had an idea...
since the lighter wasnt working...
they decided it was sensible to light them on the hob INSIDE!
and then throw them out the back door !
and burnt all the grasss and the fence !
.
went back inside...
my mum said to weechris
" you have the biggest personality here "
chris : " and the biggest willy :)"
mum : " err....*walks away*"
.
THEN !!
the police came !!
FUCKING PML !!
disturbance complaint with the fire works :L!!
.
so ayee everyone went home.
except leigh amber shiviee n nioma
they stayed:)
we watched house of wax and final destination
.
i fell asleep until at like 5.30 am
nioma wakes up...
"IM STICKYYY !"
she spilt orangeade all over hersel in her sleep :/
LMFAO !!
.
so ayeee im 15 babe !!!!
HAPPPY BIRTHDAY TOOO MEEEEEEE!
and matthew tomoroo
and leigh on tuesday
:D
xox

Thursday, 13 November 2008

shite shite and more fucking shite !

arghhhh im awfii depressive atm
AGAIN!
yet im happy at the same time
HOW DOES THAT WORK !
SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN !
.
but yeh...
school was ok
passed by english n.a.b
.
birthday in 3 days
15 at last babes !
im not a baby ! YEY!
.
party in 2
even better !!!
.
and out with ryan tomoroo
we need to talk more..
weer gonna end up drifting apart if we dont
.
i realised today...
i havent listened 30 second to mars
in ageeeeeeeees
.
i'll attack is like my fav song atm
and green day wake me up when september ends
becuase of gillian last night lol
.
god last night was funny!
" yoooooormy wonderwalll !"
"youre not the girl i though you were !"
"your a slag :L"
.
i moonwalked !
.
aha
catch
xox

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

5 dayyyyys !!

arghh!
PARTEYYYY!!
itsssa my birthday in 5 daysss !
.
party in 4 :)
only the closest lovelyy folk coming ofc!
and if I HAVENT INTIVED YOU!
FUCK OFFF !!
ok?
.
ayeeeee ...
school ...shit
walk offf the bus home
= funny as fooook !
ahaaa....
"why are my hands coldd afterwards !!!"
"coz yer stupid?"
.
"its illegal to spark up two fags !"
"naww its illegal to do this "
*drops fag *
"i never meant that !"
.
ayee...
im bored :)
byee
xox

Sunday, 9 November 2008

yesterday...todays boring

muhaahaa
yesterday was giddd :)
went shopping !
by myself....
got new clothes...
spent 140 on 1 outfit...
oops
.
went home had a chicken caesar salad
yummmm:P
got changed....
went uptoooon !
sat at the square...
got bored...
me and kay went a random shopping trip
annoyed....HER !
and got a zumo juice !
with 2 straws ?
hmmmm.
.
went back to the square had an argument about
who would win in a compter generated fight
pacman or godzilla
i said pacman
then another....about who would win in a fight
batman or superman
i said batman...
then i started a fight with rpry...
coz he disagreed
.
then i went in a hufff (:
.
went up the spot ..
THANKYOU WILSON !
ahaa nufff said....
:)
couldnt get a fire going....
went back down the square...
got a chippy
.
waited on a bus
nearly got gang raped by neds
scary stufff
thankyou bus drivers who chased them away!
went home.
went to sleep.
.
now im lying in m bed...
im supposed to be hoovering...
so i betttter go (:
xox

Friday, 7 November 2008

mehhhhh!!

party tonight
fancy dress
ginger spice !!
ahaaa
should be ok....
drink galore hopefull lol
.
so aye just a quick blog to say...
im a moody cow.
i need 3 bus seats.
one for my bag, one for me + one for my ego
and im apparently fat lol!
oh welll...
i enjoy being hated it gives me attention (:
xox

Thursday, 6 November 2008

future ? scary stufff

just had one of those scary thoughts...
what the hell am i gonna do with my life?
fairdooos im a smarty ...
ive got an A in Intermediate 2 maths
and a 2 in Standard Grade english already.
im sitting
.
int.2 english
s.g chemistry
s.g biology
s.g modern studies
s.g history
s.g art
s.g french
.
im supposed to get straight 1's/a's ?
no pressure ofc :S
ayee...back to future.
i wanna stay on at schoool
maybe 4 or 5 highers
then 2 or 3 advanced highers ?
yeh..denny high for highers ?
cross yer fingers for me
.
i have no clue what im doing after tht
this is where i kinda freak out.
i wanna go to university.
but...what to do ?
i was thinking maybe teaching?
.
but ayee my ambition is to be in a permanent job
by the time im 23/24 ish ?
kids? id like to think so...
only 1 or 2 tho...
not before im at least 20
id love to get married.
idk if its before or after kids.
my parents wernt married when they had me
or my younger brother.
and we turned out just fine lol (:
.
my parents seriously are good role models
they both work full time jobs
and weekends ...
yet still make time for me and matthew.
not alot of parents can pull that off.
.
ayeee i may seem weird thinking about this
but its only 2 or 3 years away..
it scary shit....
i miss being a kid! !
Oh well....
we all grow up sometime :)
xxx

im a busy little monkey this weeek (:

bonfire night up callyp ?
£5
youmeatsix?
£10
getting tickets for the relentless tour?
£30
all the fabby banter im getting?
Priceless!
.
ahaaa im now the mastercard advert LOL!
but ayeee the next few months is goonnna be good
.
birthday next sunday (16th ;))
christmas soon
bmth + msi ? january 27th
?
overall its gonna be giddd
.
i really cba writing alot...
im starting to study for my prelims...
its going ok....
im gonna get straight credit grades !
im determined !
(:
catch babeees !
xox

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

OMFGGGG!!

gig last night !!
OMFG!!!!!
AMAZING MUCH!!!???!!
farewell city ?
well gid
lead guitarist?: OMFG he'd git done !!
cover of ushers in this club ? fav song (:
FUCK YER MYSPACE BEBOS BETTER !!!!!
CAN I PEE IN YER CUP MR HOBO MAN ?
skadoooooosh !!!
youmeatsix?
HOLY SHIT!
we knew the words to every song
" GLASGOWS FUCKING MENTAL !!"
best gig ive ever been to !
.
we met chris (:
thanks for letting us skip the queue btw (:
went mental !!
SAVE IT FOR THE BEDROOOOOM !!!
*me dean like singing on the streets of glasgow !*
JULIE ANDERSON??
who are you !?!?!?
.
ayee random blog
i get total hyper talking about it !!
sooo moving onnnn!
.
went to ryans tonight (:
was gid(:
chris raped me....but not really lol !
i dono whos hands were who !!
and then ! i made them dinner >.>
then chris and ryan made fire ...
the smoke alarm went offf
then they slid down the stairs on pillows :D
OOOOOOO!
ive got a party on friday
fancy dresss !!
im going as ginger spice ! :D
lol!
should be a gid week !
bonfire night tomoroow :D
yey (:
xox

Sunday, 2 November 2008

nice wee day babes

aww t'dayy was well gid (:
.
first went up town to get make up for tmoro(:
came home ,changed clothes, did hair etc.
watched an awesome episode of maury !
"im 13 and i want a baby "
seriously just why !?!?
.
then ryan came over (:
we watched scrubs and ate soup (:
then we went upstairs too watch...
charlie angels : full throttle
wassss ghiiid
then my mummy took us to mcdonalds for dinner XD
met eve ...im a sex muffin apparently (H)!
went back home....
.
went out the back with ryan so he could have a fag
stared at the stars.
was awfi nice + romantic (:
i have a star !
its called nicole (:
god i love tht boy so much (:
.
well you me at six tomoroo !
so im off to drink relentless
watch csi
and msn folk (:
byee babes
xox

Saturday, 1 November 2008

its about time i grew up

its offical ...ive started growing up
.
tonight was rather emAlign Centreotional...to say the least
for both me and ryan.
my parents decided to have the chat with him
about how if he leads me a-stray...theyll hurt him :
.
seriously ..it was actually so embarassing
and i feel so bad ...
coz theyve scared the shit outta ryan.
yee see my dad?
he looks like a mob boss :
.
then after ryan went home ....
had a big heart to heart with my mum and claire
*neighbour*
about how they only did it coz...
shes " scared of me growing up"
she wants me to be "her wee baby girl again"
.
i cried ....alot...
i see where shes coming from
.
i used to be a wee quiet lassie...
i never went out...
until i met ryan...
hes the one who has let me grow up
hes the one whos showed me HOW to grow up
...i love the boy....seriously
.
he said something to me today...
i was like....amazed...
im not saying what..
because...its for me only
but it made me realise how much i loved him
which...is ...soooo fucking much
i cant really describe it.
.
well enough drama for today...
check out ryan + chris's blog (:
xox

Thursday, 30 October 2008

whats the point :|

ayee...im fucking depressed
everything just seems so shit just now
.
yesterday was ok (:
today was ok (:
everythings always just ok !!
its never great ....always fucking ok !
.
i think i may be having a nervous breakdown
im so fucked up in the head !
i also think i may have anger problems
but i dont care about that ...
.
ok...enufff depressing stuff
i enjoy school (:
it the only time i see my friends now
...no more toon member...
so ayee....today ..some quite OK! banter
.
meh....im going to bed...
im awfii fed up :(
cheer me up ?
please....
.
xox

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

day 1

day 1 of my new life
not much has changed
.
i told everyone of my intentions
they laughed...
said i couldnt do it evn if i tried...
so kehn what !?!
im more determined to do it now
its all over....
and i mean it (:
that half bottle of vodka i shared with amber
my last alcoholic drink outside the house
until im legally allowed to drink ofc
.
fag i had at bus stop?
my only fag all day
is in the morning
ive cut right now...
ill try and stop completly soon
.
just wait till the weekend
everyone will be phoning me like
"nicole you coming uptown?"
and guess what?
the answer will be no (:
.
but ayeee....school was ok
but i cba talking about it
....
catch (:
xox

Monday, 27 October 2008

I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost (8)

blog title? = true
im so confused about my life :(
i just dont know who i am anymore!
im doing stuff i dont want to do...
im hanging about with people who
probably dont even like me
and i have lost all my friends due to tht^
.
town had ruined me...
drinking smoking ....etc.
the only good thing tht i have gained
would be ryan :(
im just sick of not being able to be myself
im not like all the others ...i know that
im the girl who goes out ...but would rather
be in the house...watching tv and spending time
with my family and having friends over.
i hate going out nowadays
there too much pressure to drink or do stuff like tht
.
people dont even know me :
they know the me i fake
im not confident
im not a bitch
im not two faced
im not a violent person
im not outgoing
im not brave
.
im nervous
i lack any form of self confidence
i hate the way i look
im quite a nice person
i hate arguing
im a wuss
.
the girl everyone thinks is me is a sham
the only person who ever sees the real me
is....ryan....
hes the one whos seen me when i wake up in the morning
hes the one whos seen me when im at my worst
hes the one who i trust everything with
hes the one whos seen me with tears running down my face
.

im not commiting suicide
im not dissappering
im going back to myself....
im sticking in at school
im not going out every weekend
...not even every second weekend
im gonna make something of myself !
im not gonna become another one of the lost causes!
who ruined their lives themselves !
.
im sick of being a dissapointment to my parents
i never used to be until this year
and i hate it
i hate making my parents unhappy
i hate my mum thinking that everytime i go out
im either gonna be coming home in a police car...
or...the police will be alone...and ill be in hospital
or worse...
.
dont expect to see me uptown again
unless im shopping
dont expect to see me drinking outside
ever again !
dont expect to see me smoking ever
im stronger than tht
so what im saying is goodbye....
forever...

Sunday, 26 October 2008

i kissed your lips , i held your hand , shared your dreams and shared your bed (8)



heeey babess!!
heehee today was gid (:
met ryan at the bridge
walked down to scotmid
.
but guess whit !
they never had the dip ryan wanted !!!
so we had to walk alll the bloody wayy to davy hills!
" i kehn its a total stomp but its worth it "
lol
so we got the dip and pringles
simon was being a gimp and not coming out
so we sat on ryans doorstep and ate and drank boost
.
then we walked to mines
the door was locked
grrrr.
so we walked to ryans sisters (:
.
watched scrubs (: ftw !
then ryan made pizza
his pizza making skills are gid (:
then i shunned him whilst it was cooking
and got threatened with a pizza cutter !
scary mate lol
.
but ayee we ate pizza
snuggled up on the couch with the cover..
i sat on the floor...
decided to be a tad annoying
it worked and i got attention lol (:
.
ooo ooo i cant take compliments :/
they make me nervous (n)
.
but ayeee i love spending time with him
makes the days better
todayy actually made me realise how lucky i am
to have a utterly AMAZING boyfriend
who i would do anything for (:
and again....
.
i have "maternal instincts "
what the helll ?
it starting to worry me
i never usually tidy or wash dishes after me..
maybe im just growing up a bit (:
.
i also had a nice wee convo with dean on the phone
like 10 mins ago ...
was funny (:
.
catch mate (:
xox

sorry (n)

so shit btw :(
once again ive fucked up :(
it always me...
i dont mean to ...
but after it i realise
that i fucked up big time
.
i honestly think im just a general fuck up
it always happens :(
and after it all fucked up so much...
my friends are like
" yee didnt deserve that "
or
"it wasnt your fault"
when ive realised ....
it usually is ...
.
maybe im not meant to be happy :(
i am ...when im not fucking up
which seems to be like every 2 weeks lately
but when we fall out i just feel like shit
atm...i could honestly cry..
it just every fucking time !!
i always fuck up by acccident :(
.
im sorry i lied
i thought ...
you know what im not making excuses for myself
.
im sorry i lied :(
and i just hope...this doesnt change anything
ive never lied to you before
you know ive told you the truth about ...
the things i know you dont want to hear
but i know i have to tell you,
about everything
including when i tell you i love you more than anything :(
.
xox

Saturday, 25 October 2008

mehh...good or bad ? who knows 8-)

ayee so...yesterday i helped ryan babysit (:
i apparently have "maternal instincts "
lol (:
but ....i dont want a baby lol
.
so today..being saturday
went uptown ..
got a total amazing
top outta newlook for
the party
.
so this party
was ok i spose(:
me and amber *vodka shots + fags ftw!*
seriously sitting in the barbeque hut
" nicole i love yee babe ! give me hugs !!"
"ok :D"
.
ahaa was quite funny
sept i was on a train
which i didnt like
my bottom lips all cut
but kays mints and dionnes polo mints
kinda stopped me a bit
.
sorry for tht ^^
i didnt want to admit it at the party
as i was a bit ...
yeh ...
to use wallaces word
"fleeing"
.
i like vodka ..and smirnofff ice
but thats "poooof juice"
so im not allowed to admit i like it
oopsies XD
.
but ayee im on my come down
im crabby
and i cant sleep :
sooo meeeh
byee :
.
ps. i love rm <3(:
mega muchh babe !
no matter what happens
and you wouldnt fuck up (L)(:
.
catch mate!
xox

Thursday, 23 October 2008

and after everything you put me through i should fucking piss on you! (8)

i like bring me the horizon
oli sykes is WOAFT!
.
ive changed my font (:
i got bored (:
.
3OH!3 - dont trust me is stuck in my head !
"tell your boyfriend
if he says hes got beef that im a vegetarian
and i aint fxcking scared of him"
.
i had an english NAB today...
oh dear...
i think i may have failed
but just by a tad hopefully (:
.
so ayee...schoool...
i got out of french
coz i burst out crying in the middle
of my speaking assesment
.....i shouldnt bottle everything up
coz it come out at silly times !
.
but good thing was me and shivieeepop
gotta go sit in the weee tutorial room
and talk for the whole period
..first it was relevant to why i was
crying....
then somehow ! *shivieeee!* the conversation
turned to sex lol!
.
im not gonna say more about tht LOL!
just remember what i said !
.
so ayee today was generallly ok (:
sept the rain ! and wind ! all day!
cant waitt till this weekend !
mhhhhmmmm!!!!
.
oh yeh ...ryan...dunsmore found out LOL!
he said he though i had better taste than you..
so i told him ..
yeed come back with yer clicky pen
PMSL!
.
finally !
simon ! im not a homewrecker (:
catch 'shen
xox

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

tell your boyfriend If he says hes got beef that I'm a vegitarian + i aint fxcking scared of him ! (8)

god
today sucked
well school did
...
after school was gid tho
chris has a phobia of feet
and
im now a ned
apparently
lol
im bored
byee
xox

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

ahaa i laughed

this is the type of bebo comments
ryan leaves me (:
he made me laugh
i love him mega
...
lets get frisky
drunk some wiskey
Fooled around
on the ground
we went for a quickie
my fingers got all sticky
i dnt think yer a slag
you and yer yellow bag
I sed i love you
and filled your mouth with goo
I am such a douche
for it was in a bush
when you cum you go twichy
when i relised i was itchy
we look an awfy farse
with midjy bites on our arse!
lawl ily
...
aint he talented (:
i actually love the boy so much
xox

today was fucked up

ayee ..
today was so fucked up
im being fucking harrassed by a
lassie ...trying to get "stuck in" to my boyfriend
even tho i did nothing to her!
but she blames me for her boyfriend cheating on her
..with me...but i didnt want it !
..
so ayee mate?
if by chance...
yer reading this
GET A GRIP!
i ve got 10 times more pals than you
so if u even think of touching me
for no reason !
theylll be on you like a fucking tonne of brick babe
so ayee stay away from my boyfriend...
or we will fucking have a big problem ae (:
so ayee
im in a bad mood
catch
xox

ive had enough (:

no more

  • drinking
  • smoking
  • messing about

all i wanna do now is concentrate on school and passing my exams

ive had enough of being a stupid wee lassie

xox

Monday, 20 October 2008

ima spesh (h)



ahaa!! msn banter with conorrrrrrrrrr is awesome ((:


aha (:
im a spesh (:
see i hate wearing my glasses
i prefer contacts
even though they hurt my eyes kindaa

...

but ayeee..
first day back at school
was pretty rubbish
me and shiviee seem to be
becoming really gid pals again
thank god
i missed her mega tbh !
i need someone to bitch to !
(:

...

seriously tho...
im such an unhappy person lately
just like in the last few weeks
ive become a total weirdo
i feel the need to cry
like constantly):
its not nice !
i dont like it one bit !
...

i hope it passes...soon...
im sick of it !
catch im away to play wii tennis with my mum (:
xox


Sunday, 19 October 2008

You're my wonderwall (8)

t'dayy
i went to asda..
and was violently sick in the toilets
it made me giggle
coz the wifey was like
"Gawni shut the door ?"
Eh? nawww
im being sick...
the least of my worries is shutting the cubicle door !
...
but aye ..
then we went to simons ...
watched scrubs
yey!
i stole his duvet cover
it was gid (:
i feeel better now
thank god (:
...
so yeh...
i was reading through my
old texts today
like from AGEEEEES ago
like july
and i found the first texts ryan sent me (l)
"its no problem...i just hate seein lassies bombscare i kno wat its like"
" maybe it just the way i am, maybe i just wanted to help or maybe i just wanted to help a pretty girl out"
awww aint he sweet (:
i remember that day...
very well actually considering
the amount i drank.
...
ayee i can remember the first time
i spoke to him aswell
i had just made a total ARSE
of myself hitting my head off a bus roof
he laughed at me...
typical me ae ?
.
anyhoo im gonna have a wee sleep
get the remainder of my migraine away
catch babe!
xox

Saturday, 18 October 2008

today :/

tooon?
wiz ok i spooose
no drinking !
straightedge?
nahh...
just couldnt be bothered
with the bombscaring
and
the hangover
and
embarrassing myself more (:
...
right now?
watching a dvd
charlies angels:full throttle
coz im coooool (h) lol
on msn ?
ayeet mate
talking to conor about relationships
...
speaking of relationships...
today i realised suhin
i dont wannna lose him...ever..
just lying in bed with ryan watching a movie
talking a lot of random shit
not caring about other people....
just me and him...
it proved you dont have to do *stuff*
to spend time with your boyfriend
i could have lay there all night...
just snuggled up under the covers
having random conversations about
dinosaurs...and other silly things
just being myself basically.....
but nawww!
my mum had to phone ...
and say i had to go home.
i was utterly gutted....
...
i soo wish i had a place of my own
or even just a shared flat ...
but kehn being 14...
with no job...
doesnt help (n)
wid be so good ..
not having to go home at a certain time
being able to spend a whole night with ryan
:( if only ae?
...
but ayee im tired
so ...
catch babe
xox

Friday, 17 October 2008

since i do what im told

ahaa...
got told to post this :L
...
well...tonight was ..
well utterly amazing
for 2 reasons
...
the first of which being
ryan came over (:
my mummy made us baked potatoes :P
they were yummy(:
i total love spending time with him
he makes everything else seem pointless
he basically my life (:
...
the second reason why tonight was so amazing..
first utterly amazing experience
which im not going into too much detail about
but..
all im gonna say is
OOOFT WOW !!
ryan is truely amazing mate !
2 months today babe (L):D
xox

boredd mate (n)

ooo friday!
i rather like fridays (:
well...this friday aint so good tbh...
my mother is forcing me to tidy the atomic bomb testing site
which i call my bedroom...
not fun babe! not fun atall!
...
but yeh the reason why i like fridays is coz
ryan , like 95% of the time, comes over (:
we like eat ...alot...then watch movies XD
its well gid mate
"gee me attention!!!!"
its gidd coz we get to spend time together
just the two of us...
without other people annoying us
or us making them feel awkward
...
im guessing it will be toon tomorrow
oh how fun (n)
nah not really
toon shite now
last weekend was utterly appaulingly shit !
the funnest part was the treck ...
through jaggy nettles...
in a skirt and dolly shoes aha
...
but ayeee
the mother is now moaning at me
so ...
catch babes !
xox

Thursday, 16 October 2008

i wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name (8)

i moan about my life....
but tbh
its the best its ever been
thanks to one person tbh
...
ryan mcnamee
or to you other people smackmanee (:
...
ryan is the best thing to ever happen to me
i love him ,
i know people say we are too young to know what love is,
but i do.
seriously, i dont know what id do without him
..2 months and we're still going stong.
he is truely amazing ,
when he says cute little things like
"you know im always there for you"
+
"i love you and i always will"
my heart melts .
he can always cheer me up
and always knows when theres something wrong.
i actually love him so much.
...
seriously 2 months tomorrow!
my longest relationship
i hope to god it lasts much longer,
because to be honest
i cant imagine my life without him now,
he is the only thing keeping me going sometimes,
and i know i can go to him about anything
and he'll listen + try his best to make me happy.
...
i made him super-noodles today
so apparently we are married now lol
coz i cooked for him XD
the noodles would have been better...but!!
chris put too much water in the pot..
and i couldnt be bothered taking some out .
he bit me on the leg..it hurt like a bitch!
he rips me suhin awful,
but i know he doesnt mean it in a bad way (:
he moans about me not eating
+ that im to apologetic and a pushover,
but kehn...hes only looking out for me
...
as you can tell , i truely love the boy
so kehn
break us up + ill fucking devour you.
and im not joking mate !
...
forever + always babe ?
i love you (:
...
xox