why am i constantly putting myself down ?

as most of you probably know

im in a *serious* relationship

with probably the most amazing guy ive ever met

im so fucking happy when im actually with him

but...

when im not ...i go back to being a wee depressive bitch

im constantly putting myself down...

i think im a shit friend

i think im a shit daughter

i think im a shit girlfriend

i basically just think im worthless tbh :\

now...im not emo or anything !

i just think people think im pathetic or something...

people treat me like im stupid

and the people who dont are my closest friends :\

and even sometimes i feel like their talking about me

even though there not....

people need to realise the shit ive went through....

so kehn whit lets tell everyone (:

last year was thee worst year of my life

i had a relationship which i got fucked about so much

that im now incapable of feeling safe with guys

becuase of the way *he* used to put me down all the time

....

also i did something i wasnt proud of

mainly my taking things which i shouldnt

im definatly never taking those again

....

but basically i feel as though im letting ryan down

because i cant let go of my past...

something...*god noes what* keeps reminding me

ov all the shit i went through last year

and its total upsetting me tbh

but anyways

school was quite gidd for a change

day went really quick

banter was okay (:

nuff said for today

xox